as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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