we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
