And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
