And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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