Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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