im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
