You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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