saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
