Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
