Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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