I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
