I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Alive.
So much puke
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
