so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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