Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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