i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to make out with him forever
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
