I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
