but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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