Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
