i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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