it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
