Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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