I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
