that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
