This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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