So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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