i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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