I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
