I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
