if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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