Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
