so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
