you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
