We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
