Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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