Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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