Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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