currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
