my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
