this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
