Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
