i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
