We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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