My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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