check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tell your sister to shave her snatch
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
