Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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