Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
