Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
