I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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