What a fucking waste of an outfit
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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