i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
