I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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