This girl is more easily done than said...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
