sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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