Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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