She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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