It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
