they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
