in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
