Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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